Sexual performance anxiety is a sexual dysfunction related to fear during or before sexual intercourse. According to a study published in the NCBI, sexual performance anxiety affects 9-25% of men and contributes to Premature Ejaculation (PE) and psychological Erectile Dysfunction (ED). Further, it affects almost 6-16% of women, inhibiting sexual desire severely.

Though the problem may vary from person to person, it can affect self-esteem and sexual relationships. There are no exact treatment methods to treat performance anxiety, but some therapy and training can help. Continue reading, as this article will answer all your queries, including what sexual performance anxiety is, why it happens, and, most importantly, how you can address it.

What is sexual performance anxiety?

As mentioned, sexual performance anxiety is a fear of performing well during sexual intercourse. However, remember that you’re not alone. It can affect anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and it can happen at any age.  

This fear usually happens during sex or even starts building before having sex. The anxiety about pleasing your partner during sexual intercourse or worrying about your body image is often tied to stress and can lead to reduced sexual pleasure.

Signs of anxiety about sexual performance

Sexual performance anxiety is a common issue, and acknowledging it is the first step towards overcoming it. Some common symptoms include:

  • Racing thoughts or excessive worry about sexual performance
  • Inability to achieve or maintain an erection
  • Premature Ejaculation
  • Delayed Ejaculation
  • Avoidance of sexual activity due to fear of failure
  • Decreased sexual interest
  • Increased heart rate
  • Sweating
Warning
The delayed treatment of performance anxiety can affect the sexual and mental well-being of you and your partner. Consult a healthcare practitioner and seek medical treatment to avoid severe consequences.

Causes of sexual performance anxiety

Man with performance anxiety
Man with performance anxiety

The following factors can contribute to performance anxiety during sex:

  • Past sexual trauma
  • Relationship issues
  • Financial issues
  • Family problems
  • Inferiority complex due to body shape and image
  • Concerns about pleasing sexual partner
  • Lack of confidence
  • Perceived thoughts of failing in a man’s role
  • Size of the sexual organ
  • Relationship issues

What does sexual performance anxiety lead to?

Anxiety around sexual activity can lead to the following medical conditions in men:

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction can be recognized as a man’s inability to achieve or maintain an erection required for penetrative and satisfactory sexual intercourse. Researchers believe that besides physical and physiological reasons, psychological factors can also lead to increased chances of developing ED. The anxiety about pleasing your partner during sexual intercourse or worrying about your body image is often tied to stress and can contribute to ED.

Fact
According to a 2022 study published in the NCBI, men with pre-existing anxiety disorders are at a higher risk of developing Erectile Dysfunction as compared to others.

Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation is a common sexual dysfunction in men. It refers to the persistent or recurrent ejaculations that occur before, at, or shortly after penetration, causing distress to the person and his partner. Moreover, Performance anxiety during sexual intercourse is significantly associated with an acquired subtype of PE.

How to fix sexual performance anxiety?

Though sexual performance anxiety is the most common sexual dysfunction, there are no well-proven treatments for effective results. However, the following are some potential ways to treat male performance anxiety during sex:

Medications

The commonly used medications for treating performance anxiety may include the following medications:

  • PDE5 inhibitors: Some ED medications, such as Sildenafil, Vardenafil, and Tadalafil, can be prescribed to treat the inability to erect during sexual intercourse
  • Antidepressants: People can take antidepressants, such as Bupropion, Nefazodone, Amitriptyline and Moclobemide

Practice relaxation techniques

Anxiety, in any form, can be alleviated through relaxation techniques. These methods help calm your mind and body, making it easier to engage in sexual activity without overwhelming stress.

  • Deep breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to reduce anxiety. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth
  • Mindfulness and meditation: Mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment, reducing anxiety about the past or future. Meditation can also promote relaxation and improve your mental health
  • Progressive muscle relaxation: This involves tensing and then slowly relaxing different muscle groups in your body, which can help ease physical tension associated with anxiety

Therapy

If sexual performance anxiety persists, seeking therapy from a professional can be a valuable step.

  • Therapists and counselors: A therapist can help you address the underlying psychological factors contributing to your anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in treating anxiety disorders
  • Sex therapists: Specialists in sexual health can offer specific strategies and exercises to improve your sexual performance

Open communication with your partner

One of the most effective ways to address sexual performance anxiety is to talk openly with your partner. Sharing your concerns can relieve some of the pressure and foster a supportive environment. Your partner might be experiencing similar anxieties, and together, you can work towards a more fulfilling sexual relationship

  • Be honest: Express how you feel without fear of judgment. Honesty can deepen your connection and build trust
  • Listen actively: Pay attention to your partner’s feelings and concerns. Understanding each other’s perspectives can lead to better emotional intimacy
  • Collaborate on solutions: Discuss ways to enhance your sexual experience. This might involve trying new things or simply slowing down and enjoying the moment without pressure.

Focus on foreplay and intimacy

Shift the focus from performance to pleasure. Spending more time on foreplay and non-penetrative activities can reduce the pressure to perform and enhance intimacy.

  • Explore each other’s bodies: Engage in activities that increase physical intimacy without the immediate goal of intercourse. This can help reduce performance pressure and build a deeper connection
  • Experiment with sensate focus: Sensate focus exercises involve touching and caressing without the goal of orgasm. This can help you and your partner reconnect with the pleasure of touch and reduce sexual performance anxiety

Educate yourself

Knowledge is power. Learning about sexual health and dispelling myths can reduce anxiety. Understand that sexual performance isn’t just about physical capability but also about emotional connection and mutual pleasure.

  • Read reputable sources: Educate yourself about sexual health from reliable sources. Understanding how your body works can demystify the experience and reduce anxiety
  • Set realistic goals: Unrealistic portrayals of sex in media and societal expectations about sexual prowess can create immense pressure. It is better to learn, discuss, and practice natural sex, which connects with your partner

Be patient and compassionate with yourself

Overcoming sexual performance anxiety is a process. It’s important to be patient and compassionate with yourself.

  • Acknowledge progress: Celebrate small victories along the way. Each step forward is progress
  • Avoid self-criticism: Negative self-talk can worsen anxiety. Instead, focus on positive affirmations and self-compassion
  • Practice self-love: Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and overall well-being

Lifestyle changes

Some easy lifestyle changes may help people overcome their performance anxiety around sexual intercourse, such as:

Conclusion

Sexual performance anxiety is a common issue that affects many individuals, regardless of gender or age. This condition can significantly impact self-esteem and sexual relationships. While there is no single treatment for sexual performance anxiety, various approaches such as medication, therapy, relaxation techniques, and open communication with your partner can help alleviate symptoms. 

Focusing on intimacy rather than performance, educating yourself about sexual health, and making lifestyle changes can also be beneficial. Remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout this process, and seek professional help if needed to improve your sexual well-being and overall quality of life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you break the cycle of performance anxiety?

Yes, people can break the cycle of performance anxiety during sexual intercourse. Men can take prescribed ED and PE medications to improve sexual function. Further, they can consult a sex therapist and seek guidance. Further, some lifestyle changes, such as reducing alcohol and quitting smoking, are also effective.

What causes performance anxiety in sex?

Performance anxiety in sex can be caused by past sexual trauma, relationship issues, financial and family problems, body image concerns, fear of not pleasing a partner, and societal pressures about sexual performance and physical appearance.

How do you overcome sexual performance anxiety naturally?

Overcoming sexual performance anxiety involves practicing relaxation techniques, communicating openly with your partner, focusing on intimacy over performance, seeking therapy, educating yourself about sexual health, making lifestyle changes like reducing stress, and being patient and compassionate with yourself.

What is the best therapy for sexual performance anxiety?

People with performance anxiety during sex can consult a therapist and take therapy to treat the condition. The therapies include sex therapy, CBT, psychodynamic therapy, and counseling. People can also consult a healthcare practitioner and seek medications to treat anxiety symptoms.

Citations:
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