Herpes After 10 Years of Marriage: A Journey of Understanding, Support, and Resilience

Harman Kaur
Medically reviewed by
Dr. Kaushal

Review medical content on WOW Rx Pharmacy, so that accurate drug use information is easily accessible to everybody.
Dr. Akansha is a licensed Clinical Pharmacologist. She possesses remarkable knowledge in Pharmacovigilance, prescription analysis, drug information, and drug safety services. Additionally, she is a keen learner and an educator.

Last Updated:

herpes after 10 years of marriage

Discovering Herpes after a decade of marriage can be a profoundly challenging revelation, reshaping the dynamics of a long-term relationship. 

This unexpected diagnosis may evoke a range of emotions, from shock and confusion to concerns about trust and intimacy. 

The implications extend beyond physical health, impacting the emotional well-being of both partners. 

Navigating this unanticipated journey requires open communication, mutual support, and a commitment to understanding the complexities of living with Herpes. 

In this exploration, we delve into the emotional and relational dimensions of facing Herpes after 10 years of marriage. 

Monogamous couple with Herpes

Experiencing your initial outbreak doesn’t necessarily imply that you or your partner recently contracted the infection.

It also doesn’t mean that your partner deceived you regarding their status or that they have Genital Herpes.

Several factors could contribute to the acquisition of Herpes, even within a monogamous relationship where neither partner is believed to be infected.

Virus was dormant

It is possible that either you or your partner contracted Herpes before entering into your relationship without being aware of it.

Exposure to the virus often occurs earlier in life, and symptoms may only manifest months or even years later.

The duration of dormant periods varies, and it is impossible to predict how long the virus may remain inactive before symptoms emerge.

Asymptomatic phase

As per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a significant portion of adults with Herpes, approximately one in six, will experience either asymptomatic cases or symptoms so mild that they go unnoticed.

This often leads to individuals being unaware of their Herpes status until one of their partners has an outbreak. 

If your partner claims not to have known about their Herpes condition, they might be truthful in their statement.

Partner has a cold sore

Sore throatSource: AndreyPopov_from_Getty_Images
Woman with Sore throat

Although Herpes Simplex Virus 1 (HSV-1) is commonly associated with cold sores, Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (HSV-2) is typically linked to Genital Herpes.

It is important to note that contracting Genital Herpes is possible if someone with a cold sore engages in oral sex with you.

Conversely, performing oral sex on someone with Genital Herpes can also lead to the development of a cold sore.

Additionally, Herpes autoinoculation is a rare possibility, wherein touching a cold sore and subsequently touching the Genitals (or vice versa) can result in infection.

Your partner is more infectious

The infectivity of the Herpes virus varies at different times. 

Asymptomatic shedding, characterized by the sudden release of viral particles from the body, can fluctuate without a clear pattern. 

The risk of transmission is lower when viral shedding is minimal.

Therefore, it is plausible that your partner may have had the virus without awareness, and the infection did not immediately occur.


Discovering Herpes after a decade of marriage introduces profound challenges, reshaping long-term relationship dynamics. 

The emotional and relational dimensions of facing Herpes require open communication, mutual support, and a commitment to understanding the complexities involved. 

Whether navigating the implications of asymptomatic cases, dormant periods, or unexpected transmissions, addressing Herpes within a committed partnership demands empathy.

This journey underscores the importance of fostering understanding and resilience, forging a path toward continued connection and emotional well-being.

Recommended Article
Do you want to know if you can have unprotected sex with Herpes? 
Read this article Understanding Genital Herpes Symptoms: A Comprehensive Guide.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I marry if I have Herpes?

Many couples effectively manage Herpes regularly, viewing it as a minor inconvenience. Because Herpes typically doesn’t present a significant health threat, some couples opt not to use condoms in the context of a long-term relationship.

How do I know who gave me Herpes?

Determining the source and timing of a Herpes infection is extremely challenging. Contracting Herpes for the first time, especially within a presumed monogamous relationship that has endured for an extended period, does not automatically indicate infidelity for either partner. 

How do you live with a partner who has Herpes?

Consistently use condoms and dental dams for oral, anal, and vaginal sex. Discuss with your partner the option of taking Herpes medication daily, as it can reduce the likelihood of spreading the virus. Refrain from engaging in sexual activity during a Herpes outbreak, even if using a condom.

WowRxPharmacy uses only high-quality sources while writing our articles. Please read our content information policy to know more about how we keep our content reliable and trustworthy.

More Articles Like This

Leave a Comment

Receive the latest articles in your inbox!